youre lurking in front of me
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
