chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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