I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
