I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Randomize
