I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Can I color on your dick again?
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
