Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
