Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
