and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Randomize
