You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
