I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Randomize
