Joe is yelling at the trees again.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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