Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
