dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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