I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
