Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Randomize
