dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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