i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
