I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
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