so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
