are you so shy because you have an std?
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
