i already hear my dad disowning me
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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