I got chris browned last night
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
