I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
