this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Randomize
