And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
