She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
