That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Holy sore nipples Batman
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
