There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
