I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
