Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Randomize
