So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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