If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
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