tonight lets celebrate not being married
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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