Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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