You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
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