So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Randomize