He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
