Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
It's blow job season.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
