Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
