3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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