hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
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