worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
