1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
