She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Randomize
