Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
