Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
