I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
you made out with another girl for some wings
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
