i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Randomize
