sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
