So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
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