when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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