I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
