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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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